I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
