I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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