Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
