You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
