I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
