I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
