Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
