He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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