i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
