Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
