id be glad to
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
