Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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