What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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