we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
