Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
