just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
