So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
