Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
