I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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