Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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