We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
