My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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