I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
