I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize