I didn't shave. On purpose
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
