he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
