i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
