You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
