I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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