dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You ruined the universe
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
