If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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