i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I supernannyed him into submission
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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