Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
