so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
