Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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