We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize