did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
