she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
