They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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