No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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