Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
