So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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