try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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