I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Michael Bay diarrhea
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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