I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
whose parrot is this?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
