i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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