I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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