uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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