i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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