And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
