I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we're making bets on your personal life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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