she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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