the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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