I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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