Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
