you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
