How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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