I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
