Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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