brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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