she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
