you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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