Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
