Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
